


Sea of Love

by SoLilyLove



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:38:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9708590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoLilyLove/pseuds/SoLilyLove
Summary: Baz is tired of hiding his feelings and decides to do something about it.





	1. Baz

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first SnowBaz fan fiction. I really love these characters and had to write something about them. I also love it when they dance...so here it is.  
> Thank you to Rainbow Rowell for sharing them with us.

"Simon," he sighs. The name he had longed to call him by, but could never allow himself to. He says it like it is the only name that matters. He says it like he loves him.

Baz is sitting on his bed trying and failing to study. His thoughts keep drifting back to him. The Watford Valentine's Day Ball is tomorrow and everyone is filled with excitement at the thought of spending the evening with the one they love. Everyone, with the exception of Baz. The person that he loves will be spending the evening with someone else, specifically Agatha fucking Wellbelove. The cruel irony of it all was that she would drop Snow in a heartbeat if she thought that Baz was the least bit interested in her. Even worse, Snow thinks he is and it is entirely his own doing. In an attempt to hide his own feelings, he had tormented him by flirting with her. It was just one of the many weapons he used to get under his skin. It had worked so well, that Snow hated him. That was what he wanted, right? Well, he had always thought that was what he wanted, the way he was told it should be. He only knew that it would be easier than being his friend. He could never get that close without running the risk of exposing his true feelings. That couldn't happen. For too many reasons, he wasn't willing to take that chance. At least, he wasn't until now. This is their final year of school and he is growing tired of playing this game, tired of playing his role as nemesis. He longed to be the one to hold Simon in his arms as they danced. He wanted to gaze into those extraordinary blue eyes and sigh his name, his real name, expressing the love he felt for the boy. And he longed for Simon to speak his name like it was the only thing that mattered. Could he ever have that? After the way he had treated Simon all these years, he knew he didn't deserve it. He also knew he still had to try.

It is the day of the Ball and Baz can't focus on any of his classes. He is too distracted by thoughts of this evening and what he planned to do. After his last class is over, he sneaks off to the Catacombs to feed before returning to his room to get ready. He is going to need his full strength for tonight. He also wants to make sure that he doesn’t run into Snow. He can’t chance seeing him. He is uncharacteristically nervous and doesn't trust himself to maintain his cool facade.

To his relief, the room is empty when he returns. The Ball started a half an hour ago, and Snow was eager to run off to fawn over Wellbelove, no doubt. He forces himself not to think about that for too long because it makes him feel physically ill. It also isn't helping his nerves. He takes a quick shower and gets dressed, standing in the mirror to admire himself for a moment. He is wearing his burgundy velvet suit with a black bow tie. He knows that he looks handsome and it gives him a small, but welcome bit of confidence. He takes a deep breath. It’s time.

When he arrives, he decides to make an entrance. He is Pitch and Pitches make an entrance. He swings the doors open and strides in elegantly. He can feel eyes on him, but he is already staring into the only ones that mattered. Those gorgeous blue eyes that haunt his dreams. He had spent countless nights dreaming of gazing into those eyes and seeing them gaze back at him, reflecting all of the love he was feeling. He is staring straight into them now, and he can see them filled with another emotion. This wasn't love, but something else. It looks a lot like hate and he knows that is what it must be when he sees him speak his name.

"Baz." He says it like it is a curse.

Baz had to stop himself from sneering. He subtly takes a deep breath, trying to maintain his composure, and slowly starts to walk in his direction. Snow is standing near the punch bowl with Wellbelove and Bunce. He is wearing a grey suit and he looks absolutely stunning. When he reaches them, he bows and says "May I have this dance?" Wellbelove looks ready to accept the invitation that she probably thought would be for her, had Baz not been staring directly at Snow. When she sees that it isn’t, she just rolls her eyes and walks away, going on about how she sick she is of this. Bunce shoots him a look and follows after her. For a torturously long moment, Simon just stares at Baz and you can see every thought he is having flash across his face. He is clearly trying to figure out what Baz’s intentions are. "You...Why are you?...Agatha..." he spluttered. Baz, unable to resist this time (old habits die hard) sneers and says "Use your words, Snow."

"Baz". He spits it out like a threat.

"Dance, with me Snow. Or are you afraid that I will be better at that too?" What am I doing? Get yourself together Pitch. This will never work if you keep acting like you hate him.

"What are you plotting?"

"Maybe I just want to dance with you." He speaks more gently this time, almost tenderly.

Simon stares at him for another torturously long moment, clearly trying to figure what the hell is going on. Then, never one to back down from a challenge, he stands up straight, sticks out his chin and says "You may have this dance."

Well then...

I gently take his hand and lead him to the dance floor. Still holding his hand, I place my other one on the small of his back, pulling him tightly to me. Probably a little more tightly than necessary. He seems to stiffen up slightly, and I could swear I hear his breath hitch in his throat. As we begin to sway to the music, I notice him relaxing a bit. I am pleasantly surprised. It turns out Snow, for all of his clumsiness, is actually a pretty good dancer. The song is perfect and we are beginning to get lost in the music.

        _Come with me, my love_  
 _To the sea, the sea of love..._

I am now unable to look anywhere but directly into his lovely eyes, and there is no way that he doesn't know how I feel about him now. I have replaced my mask of sneers and disgust with a look of pure, unadulterated love. I am showing him everything, as I had forever longed to do.

_Do you remember when we met? That's the day I knew you were my pet..._

His expression has changed. It is softer and the anger is replaced with something else.

"Baz?" He whispers it like it is like a question.

It's as if we are under a spell that I never want to break. For one blissful moment, I begin to feel a glimmer of hope. Could he possibly feel the same way about me? I find myself leaning in closer, my nose almost brushing against his. I can feel his warm breath on my skin and I can hear his heart beating faster, matching mine. I wonder if he notices it too. His eyes break our gaze for just a moment and he glances down at my lips. Then he does it again. Crowley, does he actually want to kiss me? As soon as I allow the thought enter my mind, reality comes back to remind me that hope is dangerous thing. Someone taps him on the shoulder, and he jerks his eyes away, startled. "Agatha!" He looks...nervous, ashamed? All I know is that I need to get out of there. I refuse to stick around to see the inevitable look of pity on his face. What a fool I was to think that he could possibly ever love me. I am a monster, not deserving of the love of the beautiful Chosen One that is Simon Snow. I start to run, desperate to get away. As I am bolting through the doors, I hear Snow shouting my name.

"Baz!"

I run to the Catacombs and sit at my mother's grave. She is the only person that has ever really loved me and she is gone. If she was still alive, she would probably kill me for being a vampire. I am such a fucking tragedy. I hear a noise and I know it is him. I can smell his smoky cinnamon scent and I can smell his magic. Typical Snow, couldn't just leave him alone. I cast **I’m in Hiding** to make sure he won’t find me. Then, I cry for what feels like hours. Broken, wrecked sobs, letting everything go. I consider spending the night. It wouldn’t be the first time. But I know that I will eventually have to face him, so I reluctantly go.

As I climb the stairs to Mummers Tower, I hold out hope that he is asleep. I am exhausted and I am not ready to deal with this yet. I am once again reminded that hope is not a luxury that I am allowed. When I walk through the door, there is Simon Snow. Wide awake. And sitting on my bed.

"Get off of my bed, Snow." I growl. He doesn't move. He just sits there with his mouth slightly open, looking like he wants to say something. I slowly start to cross the room, anger rising in my chest. I honestly don't know how much more I can handle tonight. I will make him move if I have to, anathema be damned. I say it again, this time like a warning. "Get off of my bed." I am in front of him now. He finally stands up, but still doesn't get out of my way. I want to tell him to move, but I find myself unable to speak because of the way he is looking at me. He looks slightly nervous, but determined, and mutters something under his breath. Suddenly, the same song we were dancing to at the Ball begins to play. Then he bows and says "May I have this dance? We never got to finish."  
Is this actually happening or is this some cruel joke? I keep looking into those eyes, searching for some trace of deception, but all I see before me is a beautiful boy nervously waiting for an answer.

"Yes." I whisper it because I am barely able to breathe.

He slips his left hand into mine, places the other gently on my waist and, with a shy smile, says "I lead this time." We begin to sway slowly to the song, holding each other close. He removes his hand from my waist and rests it on my cheek. A traitorous sigh escapes my lips and I lean into his touch, my eyes falling shut. I am so weak. When he begins to gently brush his thumb along my cheekbone, I once again begin to wonder if this a dream. If it is, then it is one that I never want to wake up from. I am afraid to open my eyes, but I force myself to when I hear him begin to sing.

_I want to tell you how much I love you..._

Then he pulls me in for a soft kiss, and whispers my name...

"Baz." He says it like it's the only name that matters. He says it like he loves me.

Hearing this ignites something within me and I pull him back in for another kiss. This one deeper and less hesitant. It's like I am pouring everything into this kiss and he is matching my intensity. He takes a step forward and we fall back onto his bed. He is lying on top of me, our bodies pressed together, our lips devouring one another’s. He gently bites my bottom lip and breaks our kiss for just a moment. He then removes his shirt and pulls me up slightly so I can remove mine. He lays me back down and presses his glorious chest against mine. Then he says, “Our heart beats match again.” I gasp and press my forehead against his, reveling in the feeling. After a few minutes, or maybe hours as time is a concept I have no grasp of at the moment, I lift my head to look into his eyes. I still need to say it.

"I love you, Simon."

His face breaks into the most gorgeous smile and he says "I love you too, Baz."

Now I am smiling, a feeling of euphoria washing over me. I am in the arms of the boy that I love and he loves me too. I can’t imagine being any happier than I am at this moment.  
Then I notice he is smirking.

“What?”

“You called me Simon!”

I pull him back in for another kiss.

 

The End  
Actually, The Beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the chapter from Simon's POV, ahem, with a little extra. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos. This is the best fandom!

**Simon**

“Hello? Earth to Simon!” Penny yelled.

“Sorry, Penny. I’ve been a bit distracted.”

“Hmm, I haven’t noticed,” she huffs. “Care to tell your best friend what’s going on? You know I’m here for you. However, if it has anything to do with a certain roommate/supposed arch-nemesis of yours and his nefarious plotting, please keep it to yourself. I’m just not up for it today.”

That was part of it, even though I don’t fully understand that part and I don’t know if I really want to. I decide to go with what I do know. “It’s Agatha” I sigh. “She is so beautiful and perfect, and I love her. Just, lately, I’m beginning to think that I’m not in love with her. To be honest, I don’t think she really loves me that way either. It’s probably because I’m such a terrible boyfriend. What’s wrong with me, Penny?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Simon. You can’t choose who you love. Love just chooses you. Maybe, it’s time you had a talk with her.”

“You’re right. I’ll do it after the Ball tomorrow night. Thanks, Penny.”

“Any time. Now we study. No more excuses!”

*******************

The next day feels extremely long. I find myself thinking not about Agatha, but mostly about the person I wasn’t allowed to talk to Penny about yesterday. Baz. Perfect Baz, with his perfect hair and his supermodel cheekbones and his mysterious eyes, and…wait! Why do I keep thinking about these things?! Penny thinks I’m obsessed with him and I’m beginning to think she might be right. Maybe he casted some sort of spell on me or slipped me a potion. He’s an infuriatingly brilliant magician, so I’m sure he is capable of it. But why?

We are in Magickal Creatures and I can’t stop staring at him. He seems so distracted, for once he doesn’t even notice. Usually, if he catches me staring, he’ll at least shoot a dirty look in my direction. Today-nothing. He is definitely up to something and I need to find out what it is.

I head back to our room from dinner to get ready for the Ball and find it empty. Baz wasn’t at dinner and it doesn’t look like he’s been here at all since this morning. I force myself to into the shower and put on the suit that Dr. Wellbelove let me borrow. It fits well and I think I would actually look presentable for once if I could just figure out this tie. Maybe if Baz were here I could get him to help me. Ha! Not likely! He would probably just laugh in my face. Where the hell is he? I check the time and realize I’m already late to pick up Agatha.

I run to the Cloisters, and find Agatha waiting. She is wearing a sparkling pale pink dress and she has her hair pinned up. She really looks lovely, kind of like a porcelain doll. I start to think that maybe I was wrong before. I really do love Agatha. Maybe I just haven’t been trying hard enough.

When we get to the Ball, we head directly to the dance floor and dance to the first few songs. It’s nice and I manage not to step on her feet too many times. We don’t really talk much, just look around at the decorations and smile at our friends as they arrive. We spot Penny by the punch bowl and head over to see her. It’s at that exact moment that I feel compelled to look up and I see him bursting through the doors. He looks bloody amazing in that suit. It’s affecting me in ways that I really don’t want to do allow myself to think about. It has to be that damned spell he cast on me.

“Baz.” I spit it out because this is starting to get out of hand and I’ve had just about enough of this.

What is he doing to me? He is coming in our direction now, no doubt to flirt with my girlfriend. He bows and says “May I have this dance?” but he isn’t looking at Agatha. He’s looking at me and all I can do is stare at him like an idiot. When Agatha storms off, I don’t even bother to chase after her.

“You…Why are you?...Agatha?” That was a brilliant sentence, there Simon. Eloquent as always.  Ugh!  Why does he have this effect on me?!

“Use your words, Snow.”

“Baz.” I say it with more venom than I feel. I want to hit him, or kiss him maybe. Wait, no! I want to hit him.

“Dance with me Snow. Or are you afraid I will be better at that too?”

“What are you plotting?” He is quiet for a moment then his expression changes slightly.

“Maybe I just want to dance with you.” There is a softness in the way he says it that I realize I’ve never heard from him before. It leaves me unable to say no.

“You may have this dance” I say it because, despite myself, I know I really want to.

He gently leads me to the dance floor and pulls me tightly against him. My breath hitches for reasons I am becoming increasingly unable to ignore. As we begin to sway to the music, our eyes are locked on one another’s. I don’t think I could look away if I wanted to. As I stare into those beautiful grey eyes of his, I see no trace of the usual disdain or sarcasm. All I see is…could it be what I think it is? What I now know that I want it to be? I lean in closer and I can feel that his heart is beating fast, matching mine. We are so close now I could almost kiss him. All I have to do is move one just inch closer and…and I feel a rough tap on my shoulder and I jump. “Agatha!” Shit! What the hell just happened?! As soon as I turn back around, Baz begins to run, sprinting toward the doors.

“Baz!” I yell it because I need him to come back. I yell it because I know now that I need him.

I look back at Agatha. I’m trying to figure out what to say to her, but it turns out that I don’t have to. She does it for me. “Simon, I think we should break up. You and I both know that we aren’t in love with each other anymore. You’ve never looked at me the way you just looked at Baz and I saw how he was looking at you. Honestly, out of the two of us, I never thought it would have been you that he fell for.” “I’m sorry, Agatha.” “Don’t be. I really am fine. But I also need some space for a while, okay?” “Sure, yeah. Of course.” And, with that, she walks away. All I can feel in that moment is relief, which I feel a bit guilty about. Then, I remember that I need to find Baz.

Naturally, I head directly to the Catacombs. As I walk through the corridors, trying to find my way in the dark, I think I hear someone crying. I am following the sound when suddenly, I feel his magic casting me in the opposite direction. It’s useless to try to resist his spell, so I am forced to go back to our room and wait. He will have to come back eventually. Hours have gone by and I’m beginning to wonder if I should go out to look for him again.

I have been pacing the room since I got back and it really isn’t doing anything to calm me down. I decide to sit on his bed and wait. I know it will probably piss him off, but I really don’t care. It smells like him, cedar and bergamot, and it is intoxicating, making me need to be near him. Maybe sitting here isn’t such a good idea. Just as the thought crosses my mind, he walks through the door and he’s glaring.

“Get off of my bed, Snow.” He says it once and repeats it as he starts walking toward me. Now he in front of me and he looks like he wants to hit me. My heart is threatening to beat out of my chest, but I stand my ground. I quietly cast the **Hey Mister Deejay** spell that Penny taught me, hoping that I can get it right for once. To my surprise, it actually works and the song starts playing. I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“May I have this dance? We never got to finish.” Okay, he’s still just standing there. Did I misread this whole thing? Then…

“Yes.”

He says it so softly, barely above a whisper. I can feel the heat rising to my face and I can’t stop a small grin from making its way to my lips. I gently pull him to me and it’s like we never left the Ball. As we sway to the music, I marvel at how much I love having this boy in my arms. I think I could never possibly get close enough to him. How could we have wasted so much time either fighting or avoiding each other when this could have been happening? Now that I’ve figured it out, I decide that I can’t let another minute go by without him knowing how I feel. Words aren’t really my thing but, lucky for me the song says it all. Singing isn’t really my thing either, but I give it my best…

_I want to tell you how much I love you…_

I sing the words that I don’t know how to say. And then, I kiss him. And I say his name. Because I need to. Because I need him to know that it’s him. I think it’s always been him.

I might be crap with words, but I clearly said the right ones because he is attacking my lips now and, Merlin and Morgana, who knew kissing could be like this? I take a step forward and we fall onto my bed. I need to feel him, his skin against mine. I remove my shirt, then his and lie down on top of him. Then, I notice it. “Our heart beats match again.” He gasps and presses his forehead against mine as we revel in the closeness.

"I love you, Simon."

"I love you too, Baz."

I’m not afraid anymore. Then I realize something and the grin returns to my face…

“What?”

“You called me Simon!”

He sneers lovingly (how is that even possible?) and pulls me back in for another kiss. After a while, his lips make their way to my cheek and he seems to be kissing me in very specific spots. I think he has a thing for my moles. Now he is trailing kisses along my jaw and down to my neck. As he gently bites and sucks at the skin there, I gasp. I’m not afraid because I know that he would never hurt me. All this is doing is making me want more, more of this, of him. I roll my hips against his and he lets out a loud moan.

“I want you, Baz.”

He stops and looks up at me, pupils blown, his expression a mixture of disbelief and lust.

“Are you sure?”

“Gods, yes.” I whisper it because my desire for him is quickly leaving me breathless. Then I twist my hands into his silky black hair, pull him back up and kiss him hard. This seems to be all the reassurance he needs. He removes both our trousers and pants with a speed I think only a vampire would be capable of, and pulls me back on top of him. Our hips are pressed together once again and our bodies begin to rock in a slow rhythm. The feeling is incredible. Our bodies are slick with sweat and he is letting out these gorgeous moans and it’s close to being all over for me.

“Baz, I-I’m so close.”

“Me too. Keep your eyes open, love. I want you to look at me when you – ah! Come with me. Simon!”

Just hearing him say my name like that is all it takes to push me over the edge, and we are coming together, shouting each other’s names. He is telling me that he loves me over and over and I am telling him too. White heat is spreading through every inch of my body and I have never felt more anything more incredible in my entire life. After a few breathless moments, we lie down facing one another, feeling both blissed out and sleepy.

If, when I woke up today, someone told me that I would be going to bed wrapped up in the loving arms of my arch-nemesis Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, I would have told them they were mental. Now, I couldn’t imagine anything more perfect or right. I like this better than fighting, and, I love him. So, I whisper it again and he whispers it back and we drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little note about the song. Cat Power's version of Sea of Love was what initially inspired this, but the original version is amazing too. It's a beautiful song and I thought it suited these two.


End file.
